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About Digital Art / Student Member coolbreeze88United States Groups :iconinterdimensionalocs: InterdimensionalOCs
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"okay... this is going to be a problem" I said to the rest of my salt water glazed crew as I was thinking over the impossible economics of 2 tickets to the twin resorts with 3 people being in my crew.

what to do, what to do I thought to myself over running my paw-hand through my head fur in frustration.

I'm going to have to settle for either the prizon escapee fox mutt or the the prizon escapee mani...

"only two tickets? is this some kind of sick joke?!" my mutt navigator exclaimed in panic. it wasint just unfair, it was sadistic that they would assume a  crew would be limited to 2 people, crews in reality number up to 3-5 people on even the smallest of ocean going ships.

the metal parrot just simply perched on a nearby branch, wating....and watching.

they knew...those bastards knew that I was going to come across this trophy and they were watching the drama ensue.

That parrot is not just a "shaperone", its, in reality a live broadcast camera. Every waking moment, every cutthrough decision, all our movements, tracked, monitored, watched...

How could I tell, I saw its eyes, the iris focusing in on me in a deliberate attempt to watch the drama unfold.

My crew were standing patiently in place, waiting in anticipation on who is chosen to accompany me to twin luxuries.

Then, like getting hit by a train, a cold sweat hit me to my very core, that blasted rusted metal parrot was there when I was embarrassed by that unexpected phonecall from vera.

anyone who owned any form of televisor wheter magical or technological, saw every embarrassing detail.

I am pissed at this point as I slowly and methotically walked towards the automaton, leaned forward, and stopped just infront of it's iris eyes.

"Yeah, that's right, I admit it, I'm harboring fugitives, so freaking what!! we aren't part of someone's sick excuse for entertainment and I don't give a crap if I broke whatever counries law these 2 escaped from"

the 2 fugitives widened their eyes in surprise that I was defending them on live television, I'm basically taking responsibility for everything and I mean everything.

"heres my message to all those watching, were not here for your sick amusement, we came here expecting to make something out of ourselves and you just pissed on our dreams by giving us a flawed reward.

Fuck this prize,Fuck the treasure hunt"

I pulled out my gun on impulse and pointed it at the poorly disguised camera.

"AND FUCK YOU!!!" BANG!!

then all you see is static.

-END-
Regas Treasure Hunt Adventures 3: Coup de' Grace
the 3 third and final installment in regas treasure hunt arc. to tell you the truth, treasure hunting is not my forte.

also by the way I have great news, im going to las vegas for Christmas.

that means ill be able to me PK in person. she'll probably be very nice.

i'll send her a note on were we should meet so I can "get her autograph"

now I can focus on my main writing projects.

HOTEL: New York New York
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the voyage was almost deliberately difficult. the sea was relentless in it's storminess and I vomited almost 90% of the time.

which, consequently, lead to me getting little to no sleep.

my crew on the other hand seem to have a little agenda of their own.
shuffling from place to place, begging for some dry land on their feet and I can agree with them on at least that.

luckily I was able to, using my inborn magicness, ferment alchohol from the sea water I had them collect in buckets off the sides.

so obviously, we spent most nights at sea hosting drinking contests and one by one, slowly pass out over the commons table shortly afterward which left me with the most horrible stomach cramp.

Why did I sign up for this?... oh wait... fame and fortune, how silly of me to doubt myself. Like I would let some my inexperience at sea slow me down.

"hey guys could you stop the boat for a sec" I ordered weakly, my stomach was churning and just as upset as it ever was. curse those retched sea dragons, making this treasure hunt considerably more difficult than it should be with their wave summoning, and storm enchanting and UGHH I hate them so much.

my navigator was quick to provide me with good news

"but sir, according to my navigational calculations, were almost to the first island, just a few more kilometers"

my stomach crep dissipated and I brightened up immediately. "WHAT..LAND?!!" I grabbed my navigator by the shoulders, looking wide eyed "Sweet, Lovable land?" I insisted.

my navigator was startled at my sudden change in mood and attitude and he just nodded with a stupefied look on his face.

I let go of him, ran to the front of the ship, I think its called the stern, and squinted my eyes at the horizon.

"need I say it... oh what the hellside.. LAND HO.." I was interrupted by a sudden vibrating in my right pants pocket, I checked the Identification protocol on my PMA, it read: HELLSIDE/MOBILE COMPACT/VERA

I looked closer at the screen, vera? why is she calling, doesent she know know the gourmet gauntlet is over? no, no it cant be...THAT, does she really have...with me?

I pressed the answer hologram on the ice like glass and she appeared on the screen instantly.

Vera was somehow different this time... Her expression was a lot softer and displayed a lot less anger, her "fur" looked more glossy than usual and her eyes were noticeably less bloodshot.

it was as if she was putting on this authoritative façade the whole time and that the double G was over, she could act her normal self.

"Rega HI!!!" she was of course, as childlike and bombastic as before, if not more.

"okay, I know this is not the best time to be calling you right now but I just wanted to thank you for what a stellar assistant you were back at the gourmet gauntlet, you totally wrecked the competition, they weren't expecting as smart, brave, cunning as you. Oh and that gun helps too"

I blushed at her oratory, I never knew a demon imp could be so grateful and sweet.

I felt a poke on the back of my shoulder and turned around, ohhh, yeah, almost forgot about my first mate.

"ohh whats this," he flared his brow trying to be smartass, I immediately covered the sound in sigil so vera couldent hear the embarrassing interruption. "getting a call from a certain someone?"

"no, its just a colleague from my last job I defended"

"ohhh, office romance... nice" he smirked like a schmuck and then procceded to snatch the phone out of my hands.


"now lets see what we got here" my navigator said inquisitively. "ohh..wow.. an imp..a demon imp at that.. I didn't know you were in to interspec...."

I slapped him in the face and took my PMA back from his greasy claws.

"GET BACK TO YOUR POST!!" I commanded In an authoritave manner.

"im terribly sorry about that vera, my crew mates haven't seen a woman in quite a while."

"oh its quite alright bad boy, I get a lot of flower cat calls everytime I'm ever seen in public. I am a famous pastry chef after all, so I am used to it, there just all gold diggers anyway"

"well I'm not surprised" i commented, oh crap, she could take that the wrong way, i just accidently flirted with her.

luckily she merely gave a little girly giggle.

"you know when I first met you that you met all my expectation and exceeded them, so i offer you this"

she bulged her eyes and smiled manically "when you get back from the treasure hunt I want you be my apprentice"

...  just woah, she, the master demon baker of hell side, has invited me to be her personal apprentice. its... I don't know.

"Vera... i wasn't expecting this but umm..." i pursed my lips in thought "just give some tome to mull it over okay."

she calmed down and sighed in understanding while keeping positive.

"okay, I guess your right, no need to rush things, well.. have fun on this little treasure hunt thingy of yours bye!!" with that she hung up with the most cutest expression on her face.

okay, its official, I really do like that girl.

i also wonder why that manticore whos driving this junk heap is so quiet

but I have to focus, there's treasure to find and points to score and native island inhabitants to exploit.

When we made  landfall, I managed to take out some of my old sigil chalk from my satchel and stared drawing runes around the edges of the rusty old fixer up PT boat.

"Watch this" I said to my crew as I stated the activation hym "CARA REFRACARE AREA"

instantly the ship appeared to be entirely invisible.

"none of the rules said I couldn't use magic, no once can paint our buffalo hide if they cant even see the ship hehe" man I'm such genius. "now lets go look for our first treasure"

the island was small with not much life on it, the treasure was also just waiting for us above ground.

they didn't even bother to bury it.


it was a small wooden doll, i picked it up and noticed it had a small compartment, I opened it to see...2...tickets to a world renowned 5 star twin luxuries resort.

2 tickets, 3 of us... oh dear.
Regas Treasure Hunt Adventures 2: Loopholes
chap 2 oh the ever lovable rega and his misadventures at sea.

to be honest PK. i kind of love how you keep the rules ridiculously vague, hence the title. i mean the ship regas's using is not even wind powered or wooden, its a motorized aurorian PT boat.

nothing in the rules said you couldent use your own ship.
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The high seas were churning at a steady rhythm, the rusted iron PT boat creaked and groaned going over every crest, and I was beginning to feel... a little bit sea sick.

"ughh why did I ever sign up for this stupid chall... EUMGHH" I was interrupted as my lunch spilled from my mouth into the sea.

Rega fell slightly backwards in a dizzied fit afterwards. "OHHH DAMN IT!!" should have remembered to bring at list a bottles worth of de-acidizers.

I am still my usual bold and brazen self, the only difference is my outfit.

it entails firstly a red "blood soaked" bandanna I wear proudly alongside a Tier 4 military grade assault jacket, not that anyone in this game has a gun to shoot at me but hey.. wearing it looks cool.

my pants are general thrift shop cargo, nothing special, but they have plenty of nice pockets to keep all the diamonds I scalp off of those damn diamondhead dolphins to sell on the black market. HEHEHE.

Yes, I still do have my trusty CEGER-P.30 high powered pistol, which I'll use to kill said dolphins if they ever try to ram my damn ship!!

I almost lost my balance as this sorry excuse for Aurorian Navy Surplus as it bucked and heaved over another wave.

the squall turned into a storm as I decided to head back into the ships cabin to take charge.

here you see my two delinqu... er.. crewmates. the one steering at the helm was a very quiet manticore who seems to be missing an eye from the looks of it which he corvers up with bandages that he refreshes daily and a literal aurorian mut who claims he escaped an aurorian gulag, his grey and drab garb with the cerial number tattooed on his neck is enough to back his claim. his role is to act as my navigator by interpreting the map assigned to us by those blasted mechanical birds.

both I found on a rubber dingy that ran out of gas in the middle of the ocean, if I wouldent have came along, they would have most surely have perished, so I decided to change my tact, no pun intended of course. phh.

sense both are obviously escaped convicts, I gave them new identities along with new names.

The aurorian mutts new name is Ardara and I told him to say he was a trafficing victim whenever anyone brought up the serial numbers on his neck.

The manticores cover name is Jared and he had his eye gouged out during a machining incident.

Now my favorite part, time to give orders and talk trash.
Finished my first novelette. its surreal and unpredictable, which is always better than trite and tested. hope to get it published.
Killing Yourself Slowly by coolbreeze88
Killing Yourself Slowly
Do you know.

Do I know.

We don't know we'll never truly know.

the limits to human suffering.

with a war that wages further and further into the coming future. little do the folks back home that even though im still a hardened soldier on the frontlines, deep down I still grasp what makes me human.

I may have done horrible things in my line of work. all I want now is just to see my family again.

but I cant, my contract has 2 more years to go.

so during the off hours when we can at least get a small scrap of the needed sleep, I just sit down on a hopefully empty ammo crate and just light one.

because who cares if I get cancer or lung disease. at least then I can back home and away from this steaming shithole.

War is business. nothing more, nothing less.
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Story or similar writing project (per 1000 words): $8

Lineart: $2

color art: $4

color with shading: $5

GIF animation: $5

Buisness and financial consultation: free 2 day trial. accepting $9 a month for my services.

just type in the comments on what you want me to draw. sorry, but I don't do "adult" or erotic art. i'm above stooping to that level.

Skype me at dacoolbreeze88 to talk about payment options and where to pay to.

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coolbreeze88

Artist | Student | Digital Art
United States
the portrait above is acctualy a rotoscoped version of myself. yep just took my own picture and drew over it with my own style. pretty cool hugh?! oh and i finnaly figuired out how to use stamps YAAAAY!!!

Your result for The Social Privilege Test...

Very Privileged

71% Privilege!

Approximately 14% of the population fits this result.



You're fairly affluent, and fate has dealt you a better hand than most. You may have experienced some minor setbacks in your life, but you're still better off than at least 85% of the U.S. population. Typically one of the more sheltered segments of American society, you probably have led a fairly easy life. But has it made you happy?


I recommend that you keep your eyes open for signs of privilege in your everyday life. Notice the people who wait on you and perform services for you. How do you benefit from using people of lesser status than you? Are you more courteous and polite to people who look moneyed than to people who look poor? Is the balance of power between the rich and the poor fair?


__________________________________________________________________________


Take my other tests. You know you wanna!


new! The Police State Test


The Quizgrrrl Compatibility Test


The Ethnicity Identification Test


The Social Privilege Test


The Alice in Wonderland Personality Test


The Love Style Test


The Christopher Pike Trivia Test

Take The Social Privilege Test at HelloQuizzy



p>Your result for What kind of drink are you?...</p>

Strawberry Daiquiri

10 Daiquiri, 0 Captain, 5 Milk and 10 Mixed!

If you were a drink you would be a strawberry daiquiri. Your feminine side is the most dominate side in you. Your most likely a romantic, passionate person who enjoys the finer things in life. You'd love to visit Paris one day and have a romantic meal with a loved one. Your the Strawberry Daiquiri.

<a

Your result for The Are You a Psychopath? Test...

The Healthy Lunatic

You scored 73% empathic, 38% delusional, 62% sociable, and 39% law-abiding!

You're delusional, but otherwise a normal member of society. Maybe you think weird thoughts or believe in things other people don't, but you're able to function just fine. You're definitely not a psychopath.

Take The Are You a Psychopath? Test at HelloQuizzy



Your result for The Personality Defect Test...

Starving Artist

You are 43% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 43% Brutal, and 86% Arrogant.

You are the Starving Artist! Like some sort of emaciated Frenchman, you sit in your fancy little chair and contemplate beauty, meaning, flowers, and all kinds of other ridiculous crap. You are more intuitive than logical, and are primarily guided by your heart and emotions. You are also very introverted and gentle. Of course, this does not mean that you do not have an ego. In fact, you are surprisingly arrogant for someone so emotional and gentle. This is why you are best described as a starving artist. You are very introspective and quite sure of yourself, as any accomplished artist is, yet your views are impractical, guided by feelings, and overly gentle. You probably find math, logic, and similar intellectual pursuits offensive to your artistic sensibilities, and you prefer the open-endedness of artistry because it's infinitely easier to ponder the beauty of a sock than to build rocketships. So really you have no reason to be arrogant, you big doofus, because the skills you value (emotion, spirit, art, etc.) in yourself are valuable only on a subjective level, meaning your arrogance is purely masturbatory, like the insipid self-pleasuring of some twat who spouts artistic nonsense only for the pleasant tinkling sound it makes upon his indiscriminating ears. In short, your personality is defective because you are arrogant, introverted, introspective, gentle, and thoroughly irrational...posessing most of the traits needed to be a starving--and useless--artist. So get out there, write a few short stories that are allegories for the indestructible spirit of socks, and starve!

To put it less negatively:


1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.


2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.


3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.


4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.


Compatibility:


Your exact opposite is the Capitalist Pig.


Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Haughty Intellectual, the Televangelist, and the Emo Kid.


*


*


If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.


The other personality types:


The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.


The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.


The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.


The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.


The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.


The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.


The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.


The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.


The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.


The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.


The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.


The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.


The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.


The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.


The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.


The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.


Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!


The following image was made by Stephan Brusche at www.sb77.nl, a real-life "starving artist". Check out his website if interested.


About Saint_Gasoline


I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy politics, science, philosophy, fart jokes, and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and podcast at SaintGasoline.com.

Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy




Team Plasma by NagoshiAshumari The Good Stamp by PsychoMonkeyShogun Ron Paul Revolution Stamp by pixelworlds :Gay Rights: by Minty-Hippo I support Tachikoma by LastAnarchy

:iconmadaraoplz: Lucario Fan stamp by Milestailsprower2991 Supporting Supportive Stamps by Otogakure-Akatsuki Clueless Naruto Stamp by rainbowramen321 OccupyTogether Stamp by RJDaae
Unapologetic Progressive by AtheosEmanon More than romance - stamp by JessKat-art The Centrist's Stamp by phantom-inker Austria stamp by deviantStamps
America Stamp by l8 Flag of Hungary Stamp by xxstamps
Hitler was Christian by FlacidPenis Stamp:  Depression by dictatorjess Get Politically Active by AtheosEmanon I Support Equality by LiamJohansen

Stamp - Don't Be HATING by Moony92 Depression Stamp by SparkLum Stamp: I fart on Nazism by dragonC :thumb137609180:

:thumb85902529:Narcissist Stamp by PsychoMonkeyShogun I don't care so i reply a wall of txt and block u by RanStamps I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo
I'm Libertarian Because Stamp by pixelworlds Libertarian Vote- Request by PaleoClipperArt :thumb126352640: I love color stamp by chinatsumori-chan Goth,  Punk, Emo, etc - Stamp by AODF
Anti-Conformity Stamp by Dracorex512 Nostalgia Critic stamp by Tartly-Sweet Team plasma stamp by AkiraBlueWolf Agnostic Stamp by AirieFeristo

I Hate Hipsters by alaska-is-a-husky Silently Judging You by alaska-is-a-husky 'Hope' Nozomu stamp by Skull-gum Snivy Stamp by Claws14

Music Stamp by Taylorinchains Bloody stamp by emptyidentityentity Punk Stamp by rainbowflyinglizard I DON'T Fav and Run by bigfunkychiken Ron Paul Revolution Stamp by pixelworlds

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This is a Fundraiser for :iconsolomonmars:

he has fallen in o the toughest of times (blame the economy) but his prowess as an artist has never shone brighter.

please show your support and offer at least a minimum of 10 points per person.

I will also add i am under oath not to embezzle these funds in any way.

did i forget to mention you get 1 fav for every 10 points you give. :D

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:iconkajm:
Kajm Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave!
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:iconrareel:
rareel Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
eyo' thanks much for the watch :3
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:iconcoolbreeze88:
coolbreeze88 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Student Digital Artist
youre so welcome. check out my art and writings any time. commsions are open if your interested.
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:iconcoolbreeze88:
coolbreeze88 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
youre welcome :D
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SalamenceCake Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hey
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:iconcoolbreeze88:
coolbreeze88 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Student Digital Artist
sup. oh hey i also got some good news. the 2013 dsm V doesent include AS as a valid diagnosis. you're normal after all. :D sorry I thought of you as crazy.
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:iconsalamencecake:
SalamenceCake Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
alright then and also I had blocked you a while back, sorry about that
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Whitepik19 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Tanks 4 thy fav
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:iconcoolbreeze88:
coolbreeze88 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Student Digital Artist
your welcome
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StarInTheDarkness Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch!
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